We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
