Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
