capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The air was thick with penises
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
