I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
