I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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