Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
