sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We have started to decorate penises.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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