i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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