i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I think people are normalizing furries
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
