Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
