I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
