How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
