Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize