YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Panties = found
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
