Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
