the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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