I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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