Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
