Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
