my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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