is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
