When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
