I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
