what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
