I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
