My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
