Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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