Already got asked if we're dating
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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