the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize