He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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