I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
