if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
