he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Randomize
