guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
