oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
