Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
