I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
