Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
