at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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