I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
