Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
