Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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