she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize