Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
