so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
