So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
