Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
