Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
