You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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