Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You have to summon your inner elephant
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
