So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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