So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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