Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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