I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
