The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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