When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
