sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
