Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
