So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
