You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
